January 31, 2023

This year, I am dedicating each monthly Blog to my wife Cynthia, who died last November.
She was and forever will be my inspiration in life.
Cynth had fabulous wisdom when it came to relationships.
These short monthly ‘tidbits’ are as much from her, as they are from me!
So here we go...

Time in a Bottle

“If I could save time in bottle
The first thing that I’d like to do
Is to save every day ’til eternity passes away
Just to spend them with you”
-Jim Croce

"Siempre hagan tiempo para ustedes como pareja.”
Oops!
That was what I said in a toast I gave in Spanish to our daughter and son-in-law on the night they recently got married
in the Dominican Republic.

Translation...“Always make time for yourselves as a couple”

It sounds so simple.
But oh what a challenge it is to do consistently well.

Couples, if they are going to be healthy and well-connected, need to do this one very fundamental thing…
spend time with each other.
When I ask couples in counselling with me about the amount of time they spend with each other, they look at me strangely.
'We don’t have any time…we work long hours…we're too busy driving our kids to their activities…our house is being renovated…I’m in a golf league…my friend needs a lot of support'….the list goes on and on!!!

That’s the problem.
Time together is the gasoline of a couples' relationship.
Without it, we sputter and find ourselves on the side of the road.

From our early days in a blended family and for the 32 years of our married life, Cynthia taught me the true value of one-to-one time together…

  • morning coffee to start the day…usually her making it!
  • end-of-the-day chats on the deck or by the pond to de-brief about the day…usually me needing the de-briefing!
  • weekend activity together to unwind from the stress of the week…a drive to the lake, bbq, movie night
  • regularly planned vacations away to ‘unplug’ from everything…camping, a trip to the sunny south, an overnight across the border

She was intentional about it.
Our time together was ’scheduled’.
And…we benefitted from it as a couple!

So…no matter how busy or at what stage your relationship is at, there is no substitute for regular time together.
It doesn't have to be expensive, luxurious, or lengthy.
But it does have to be consistent.
Daily.
Leaving you with memories that you can tell a story about for a lifetime, and beyond.
“Do you remember the time when we…?”

Question…?
What ’time in bottle’’ have you saved or spent lately with your partner?
It's not too late!
Get yourselves going and gas up!

Next Month: The Little Things