January 25, 2024
Questions
“ I would rather have questions that can’t be
answered than answers that can’t be
questioned”
- Richard Feynman
“I never learn anything talking.
I only learn things when I ask questions”
- Lou Holtz
I’ve been asked lots of questions over the past 14 months…”How are you doing?” and “Are you okay?” being two frequent ones.
I have not had an easy or quick answer for either one😫
And I’ve had more than enough questions for myself during this time…”why did certain things happened in my life as they did?”…”what makes people behave the way they do?”…”how do I live my life the best way I can right now ?” …and, “what do I want to do with my life in the time ahead?”
I grew up in a family that valued and was good at asking questions…”how was your day?… “what are your goals and plans?” Earlier in my life, when I was planning a course of study in forestry at Lakehead University, as opposed to psychology at the University of Western Ontario, my father posed this question to me: “Are you sure you really want to do that?!”
It made me think through my plan more carefully.
I then redirected myself towards psychology.
I still enjoy time in the forest, however!😀
Now, so many years later, I appreciate the importance of good questions.
They connect us.
They show interest.
They deepen a conversation.
They help us learn, grow, and get to know others.
A close friend recently shared with me- “we focus too much on the answers and not enough on the questions”.
It’s so true.
If only we asked more good questions of others, ourselves, and life in general…???
The famous self-help guru Dale Carnegie once asked, “ Are we more concerned about being interesting or interested?”
An interesting person talks about themselves and their life.
An interested person ‘asks questions’ of others.
As a therapist, some of the best sessions I have with clients are ones where I ask good questions to stimulate reflection and action, versus give answers that seem to have the opposite effect!
“So what do you think was going to happen when you had that much to drink, then started to go on Social Media?!”
So over to you…
• what place do questions have in your life?
• how can good questions help you to connect more deeply with the people around you?
• what questions do you have of yourself that can lead you into a life of deeper potential andgreater fulfillment in the year ahead?